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Nov. 28th, 2008

anak ng araw

the waiting.


the waiting.

by santi obcena

 

 
there is this silence
i keep
i have woven it into my sheets
to unravel each night
when i am eventually
taken by
sleep

my fingers find yours amidst the darkness
they touch somewhere along a broken
seam
ripping stitch by stitch

silently
to reveal what has been hidden
to see what has been ignored
in daylight

but
it is not you
my love,
but me conjuring you
line by line
what might have been
and what i wanted for things to become

there is this silence
i do not speak of,
until now

in faint sentences of solitude
and longing
i draw a picture of me
holding you in my arms, staring at a brilliant sunset
melting into the horizon
leaking into our dreams
as we catch stars
in between conversations
fading into morning.

*for this boy who remembers me every now and then, and whom i never fail to amaze.
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Apr. 10th, 2008

anak ng araw

(insert clever title)...

Came home at about 2am from Jona's project at St.Lukes. Checked my mail. Decided to walk to Cubao x to witness the iloveyoustore event..

Arrived at 3am and was secretly wishing to bump into an online friend there, but I was surprised to realize that I didn't know many people in the  crowd.  Stood somewhere in the shadows,slightly swaying to the good music. I wanted to dance, and chat and linger. Be part of this beautiful energy pulsating into the early hours of the morning. Ordered one shot of tequila and a glass of sprite, to take the edge off my day...then silently bid the crowd goodbye and walked home.



and for once, in my life, i felt that i didn't belong...


Jan. 22nd, 2008

anak ng araw

manila - vigan - manila in under 24 hours...

Bugbog na ang pwet ko. Oo, alam kong ang kinky pakinggan nun. Pero hindi nakakatuwang umupo ng labing isang oras papuntang Vigan, bumili ng tela, at sumakay na pabalik ng Maynila. Kahapon na ata ang pinakaboring na araw sa buhay ko, I guess riding a bus for more than 20 hours isn't my idea of a fun trip. So much for seeing the sights and enjoying the experience. I went to Vigan to buy the extra cloth for Kei Oribello's wedding entourage, since the first batch was a bit off in terms of color. The yellow was too bright, and the red as well. Think Mcdonald's and don't think anyone really wants a Mcdo themed wedding. Thank God I found a lighter yellow and more earthy red, and I'm glad Kei seems to be happy about her Abel Iloco already.

I guess this entry sounds spiked with OC-ness and being overly workaholic but these past few weeks have been the most toxic with my choreography sessions at Our Lady of Guadalupe minor seminary, bridal fittings in between, meeting with new clients and giving orders to my seamstress ( making sure that they work while I attend to other projects.)

I think I should be used to this already. The fast paced, insane, and up-to-the neck work and lack of personal time. Nung isang araw napagkatuwaan akong tanungin ng mga studyante ko sa seminaryo kung magkano daw ang binabayad sa akin para sa ginagawa kong choreography, production design at kung ano pang creative consultation para sa kanila. Napatigil ako, siguro'y dahil hindi ko kailanman tinanong kung magkano ang honorarium. Napangiti ako, maybe because the money never really mattered ever since i could remember. Kahit ngayon, I still am bad at putting a price on the things I make or do.

At the end of the day, it all boils down to happiness. Ilang araw na rin akong iniintriga ng nanay ko, at may boyfriend na raw ako dahil ang saya ko raw umuuwi. Hmm..The work must be doing me some good. I'm slowly realizing that happiness isn't just dependent on having a love life or a relationship, and I must admit that it gets pretty lonely dating people who flit in and then disappear every now and then or looking back at that one person who left you without answers or the one you let go by mistake. I am blessed, I smile to myself. With all the work, projects and interesting people I am meeting right now, I have no right to complain or rant.

New year. New perspective.

No more waiting. No more expectations.

happy new year santi.

p.s ( last year was a good and bad year. and i honestly believe this one promises to be a better one, Prince or no prince..)

Dec. 21st, 2007

anak ng araw

ang pagbabalatkayo ng liwanag...

Ilang kuha mula sa shoot ng UP Cinema.
mga larawan ni Greg Sabado
muk-ap at damit ni Santi Obcena

Dec. 10th, 2007

anak ng araw

when you believe in love at first sigh, you never stop looking..


waking up in a dream
santi obcena



i try
to count the inches
between your dream and mine


for this impenetrable darkness
that separates
then binds us
holds no uncertainty
anymore.


we have come to a point of understanding
wherein the stars have lost their voices
yet the lights resonate in our lost conversations of
constellations not yet discovered, or civilizations
eventually forgotten


sprawled at the foot of my bed
i hear the echo of your heartbeat
in the dead of night


yearning.
i wait in
anticipation, for your hand upon my cheek
and my fingers in your hair


tongues caught in a malevolent tango
set to the night wind blowing thru the window


chest rising upon the hand
mapping each square inch of its
naked skin,
fingers walking on the terrain of this familiar landscape


of bushes and fields
of mountains, and cliffs


then plunging itself into the calm sea
that is your mouth,
rising and falling
until we reach the white picket fence
only to turn back and marvel at the
explosion of ten thousand new years
echoed in whispers of ecstasy


but for now,
we will count the minutes and then seconds
for the next surging wave


that will eventually drive us into each others
arms, beloved.


november 6, 2007
12:22am




Nov. 11th, 2007

anak ng araw

when you believe in love at first sight, you never stop looking...

waking up in a dream
santi obcena


i try
to count the inches
between your dream and mine

for this impenetrable darkness
that separates
then binds us
holds no uncertainty
anymore.

we have come to a point of understanding
wherein the stars have lost their voices
yet the lights resonate in our lost conversations of
constellations not yet discovered, or civilizations
eventually forgotten

sprawled at the foot of my bed
i hear the echo of your heartbeat
in the dead of night

yearning.
i wait in
anticipation, for your hand upon my cheek
and my fingers in your hair

tongues caught in a malevolent tango
set to the night wind blowing thru the window

chest rising upon the hand
mapping each square inch of its
naked skin,
fingers walking on the terrain of this familiar landscape

of bushes and fields
of mountains, and cliffs

then plunging itself into the calm sea
that is your mouth,
rising and falling
until we reach the white picket fence
only to turn back and marvel at the
explosion of ten thousand new years
echoed in whispers of ecstasy

but for now,
we will count the minutes and then seconds
for the next surging wave

that will eventually drive us into each others
arms, beloved.

november 6, 2007
12:22am


Jul. 22nd, 2007

giddy

ang ritwal ng paglisan...



ang ritwal ng paglisan.

ni santi obcena

Akin ang kisame
at sa 'yo na ang sahig
ng bahay na ito.

Akin ang pakpak
sa 'yo ang ugat
at lilipad ako papalayo

Paghatian
ang mga bintanang
durungawan sa dating
magandang panaginip

Baklasin
ang mga larawan
ibalot ng dyaryo't
sa alaala'y ikipkip

Mag-antanda paglabas ng pinto
ipikit ang matang lumuluha
sa bawat hakbang papalayo

Huminga ng malalim
huwag nang lumingon
sa daang papalayo ang pansin ay ituon

Puso'y aligaga man sa paglisan
huwag mangamba't
ang lahat ng ito


(sa tamang panahon)

ay iyo ding malilimutan.

 

072207
5:22am

Jul. 18th, 2007

anak ng araw

..the power of three..

Since I'm quite lazy to finish my life update about wi-fi, my friday escapade with Henry, and a lot of other things, I am indulging in this survey for the moment. Something I picked up from a friend of a friend in LJ...

So here are some of my top three's...

Three things that scare me
1. Idle time ( My name is Santi, and I'm a workaholic)
2. Total Poverty (shet, hindi ako makakapanuod ng sine sa gateway)
3. Failure, pero pwede ring isama yung mga Ahas (as in takot ako talaga.)

Three people who make me laugh
1. Ate Tina Joy (Ang sosyal na matrona at star extra ng DSL)
2. Angelo Manzano (Ang OFW member ng Perfect Roomates Club)
3. Nar Cabico (Ang bagong Didi at miyembro ng Bad Actors Company)


Three things I love

1. Not having to wake-up early on monday mornings...or any day at all.
2. Walking around Cubao in the evening.
3. Ukay-ukay and Divisoria (the ultimate retail heaven)


Three things I hate

1. Traffic
2. Init (I must admit that I'm not a summer person)
3. Myself (when I move so slowly despite the fact na malelate na ako)


Three things I don’t understand
1. Why honesty is something that's hard to come by, in this day and age?
2. Bakit ang tagal dumating ni Prince Charming? (drama-rama sa hapon)
3. Bakit wala nang Strawberry Sundae sa Mcdo at Jolibee?


Three things on my desk
1. Cofee mug ko na kulay lavender.
2. Fabric Swatch book
3. Pencils and sketch pad ( hindi talaga ako workaholic...)


Three things I am doing right now

1. Sketching a bridal gown...
2. Nagpapaantok sa pamamagitan ng survey na ito, pero wala talagang epek.
3. Binabasa uli ang The Farewell Symphony ni Edmund White, na pinahiram sa akin ni Karl three years ago at natapos ko na talaga pero inuulit ko pa rin dahil sobrang patse-patse ang pagkakabasa ko nun.


Three things I want to do before I die
1. Mabigyan ng magandang buhay ang pamilya ko at mga tao sa komunidad ko.
2. Makapagpatayo ng isang paaralan para sa mga talentadong Pinoy pero walang kakayahang mag-enroll sa magandang eskuwelahang pansining.
3. Magpalaki ng mga sariling anak, the ultimate dream in my book.


Three things I can do
1. Do so many things at a certain period of time, multi-tasking to the next level.
2. Listen. I guess this is an art that only a few people have mastered.
3. Wash dishes very well. Tulad ng nasabi ko dati, MAGALING talaga akong maghugas ng pinggan.


Three things I can’t do

1. Be early. I am one of the tardiest people I know, but I'm learning now.
2. Wear neon colored clothes. (que horror!)
3. Lie about my real feelings, lying is never my forte.


Three things I think you should listen to
1. Your mom (Mothers know best, most of the time)
2. Your self (Your gut feel is almost always true)
3. Chico and Delamar in the Morning Rush, especially their top 10.


Three things you should never listen to
1. The News (everything is fabricated, I tell you.)
2. Annabelle Rama
3. Gossip talk shows
 

Three things I would like to learn
1. Hip hop
2. Say NO to projects that will stress me out further and that don't fit my sked.
3. The art of time management and self-discipline.


Three favorite foods

1. Paksiw na Bangus ni Manang Paring
2. Adobong Intsik ni Nanay
3. Sinigang na Baboy ni Mama


Three shows I watched as a kid
1. Visionaries (yung may staff at chest plate at power-power)
2. Thunder Cats at Thunder Sharks
3. Ula ang Batang Gubat ( Si Juday naka animal print na tumatakbo sa gubat)


Three people I am tagging
(I tag all of the equally insane people who get to read this..)

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Jul. 12th, 2007

giddy

..no more running man..

I'm so tired of running in circles and chasing far flung possibilities which may or may not happen. I feel like I've invested myself foolishly...

ho hum...

hurray for the supposed wise gay guy.

here's me stopping all this brooding over matters of the heart,
the sun is shining brightly outside
I've finally decided to go out
and get some fresh air.

I'm taking my mom's advice for once
and loving myself more.

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Jul. 11th, 2007

anak ng araw

...4:59am..

balse

ni santi obcena

 

mariin ang hawak

sa balikat na naghihintay ng kalinga

ang bawat halik

itinanim sa lupang matagal na nanaginip

ng ulan

 

marahang

pinadausdos ko ang mga daliring ligaw

sa balat mong niyebe

hinahanap ang daan patungo sa gubat

papasok sa kabundukan at talampas

ng iyong katawan

 

tinakasan na tayo ng gabi

at ngayo'y binabati ng araw

mula sa iyong bintana

ngunit hawak mo pa rin ako

sa iyong mga bisig

sa mahigpit na pagkakayakap

 

iduyan mo ako

at huwag nang bitiwan

hayaan mong marating natin

ang paraiso

sa malamyang balseng ito.

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